Laying It On The Line

I pooped my pants. 

There you have it. I said it out loud. There may come a time in my life when I will regret this post, but for now, I think it serves as a good descriptor of my life down here. I do not mean to imply that I poop my pants all the time or anything. In fact this is a very rare occurrence. But it is a fact. Volunteers in El Salvador are very open with taking about our bowel movements, embarrassing or otherwise. I have also heard that almost every volunteer that serves here will, at some point in their service, poop their pants. That is not something they put in the job description, let me tell you.  

The morning Paige and I arrived at the the beach, Playa El Tunco, I started to have a small diarrhea  problem. I did not feel sick or anything, I just would get this overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom immediately. You all know the feeling, we have all been there. I do not know what brought this on, I cannot think of what I ate that would have me running for the john like a woman runs to a shoe sale. (I mean it is mango season, so it is possible that this was brought on by the extreme excess of mangos I have been eating. But that just sounds a little too plausible, if you know what I mean.)

Never the less, I did not think much about this. I have been extraordinarily health during my time down here. (With the exception of my food poisoning induced hospital stay.) (Knock on wood.) Sometimes diarrhea happens, but as I was still feeling fine, I just changed my bathroom habits slightly and carried on with my day.

*At this point I should clarify something that will become important shortly. The hostel we stayed at, was pretty nice for the 10 bucks a night we were paying. The only major down side is that the rooms do not have private bathrooms. There are several communal bathrooms located outside, but close to the rooms.*

Paige and I had a lovely, relaxed morning getting breakfast and laying out at the beach. When we got back  to the room, we decided to take a nap. Paige left the room for a moment and I had just stepped out of my swim suit. As I am trying to find something to put on for my nap, I get the urge. So there I am standing naked in my room trying to find something, anything to put on so I can make it to the bathroom. Underwear on, shorts on, bra on. I leave the room, only to realize I am not wearing a shirt. I run back into the room grab a shirt. It is half way on as I am standing in the doorway on my way out when it happens.

I, all of a sudden, have no control. I now have to waddle in my soiled shorts to the bathroom. On my way there I pass Paige on her way back to the room. She gives me a quizzical look as clearly something is wrong with me, but she does not say anything. I clean my self up in the communal bathroom and head back to the room. I am pretty sure Paige will never let me forget that this happened.

A few days later when Paige and I are visiting her family friends in the capital, I did a couple loads of laundry. I will argue that there is nothing better feeling than a towel just out of the dryer. This is even more true when you do not have ready access to a washer and dryer. I may have gotten a little carried away in my snuggling and fawning over a soft, warm towel. The family could not get over how happy I was. I cannot explain it, but I was more embarrassed over the attention I got over the clean towel than I was when I pooped my pants. Thanks a lot Peace Corps. I doubt I will ever fully integrate back into American society.

Ed Note: Paige, Sarah and Alex Girl all ended up getting diarrhea too. None of them admitted to pooping their pants.